Daring for Acceptance

The most daring thing I have ever done is to come out of the closet as a gay male. Being a homosexual teenage in this society is not exactly what you would call relaxed and always accepted. Now coming out was not just a one day event that I wrote all over the place and had a celebratory party, it was a slow process that took 5 years and is still in process. The reason for this being the most daring thing I have ever done because it’s something that will make you hated by many or loved by many, without knowing which way it will go. When I first decided to tell someone it was a huge risk with hearing all of the stories of how it’s not okay and with this generations awful use of slang terms, it makes you feel as you’re a bigger outcast and morally wrong then you though to begin with.

The first time I officially told someone that I’m gay was in eighth grade to my ex best friend Erin, the reason I say ex is because we are no longer friends and that is a totally different story. She was my best friend at the time and was totally accepting of who I was, as she stated “Sean it was kind of obvious.” Once you tell someone it’s like wildfire and you almost spread it yourself, but only to your friends. The change of my social group of friends changed drastically as the word spread through Rachel Carson Middle School. Going from hanging with a huge group of guys in seventh grade being in the “popular” crowd, I was immediately not friends with these kids once they found out. Instead of “hey man, what’s up?” it turned into a complete ignorance or nasty glare.

Throughout those five years I have been slowly telling people as well as coming to terms with what everything meant to myself. When you depicted as an outcast for something that you have no control over it was hard to accept myself and be able to be myself. Lucky it all changed with in the last two years of high school, not so much my junior year but my senior year I have never been happier. I was fortunate to have a family who is 100% accepting and supportive of me, and have a large amount of friends who stand by me.  When I told my mom I texted her to come up to my room and stand outside the door, in the message is said “mom.. I don’t know how to say this but, I’m gay and I hope you still love me.” Ever since that day my mom has been my biggest supporter and one of my best friends, we have a closer bond because we can be open with each other. My brother is one of the biggest supporters as well, if you say something bad about being gay, he will go hulk on your ass.

Coming to Chicago was almost just as daring because having such a hard time telling people I knew my whole life that I was gay, and now I would have to face complete and totally strangers with no support close by. It was hard knowing whether or not people will accept you or like you for that matter, but at this point in my life I don’t really care. Being here in the Bridge program scares the crap out of me, because its make it or break it for whether or not you will be attending this college in the fall. Making sure everything you do in your blogs and essay’s, is done correctly and up to college material is like figuring out who I could trust with this major secret I had. Coming out, you have no clue what the heck is going to happen but it’s a risk we must take, as we only live once.